By Gary Baran & CNVC

1. Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how you would like to relate
   to yourself and others.
2. Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
3. Check your intention to see if you are as interested in others getting their
   needs met as your own.
4. When asking someone to do something, check first to see if you are making a
   request or a demand.
5. Instead of saying what you DON’T want someone to do, say what you DO want
   the person to do.
6. Instead of saying what you want someone to BE, say what action you’d like
   the person to take that you hope will help the person be that way.
7. Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to
   what the person is feeling and needing.
8. Instead of saying “No”, say what need of yours prevents you from saying
   “Yes”.
9. If you are feeling upset, think about what need of yours is not being met,
   and what you could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with
   others or yourself.
10. Instead of praising someone who did something you like, express your
    gratitude by telling the person what need of yours that action met.

© 2001 Gary Baran & CNVC — The Center for Nonviolent Communication  would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication so that all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.