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Originally published in  Coaching for Transformation

Most parts do not want or need to be transformed. They just need to be heard. Once clients integrate the information from multiple parts, they can make informed decisions about what changes they wish to make.

Above all else, parts need to be loved exactly as they are. If they get a hint that we are trying to change them, they interpret that as judgment, and rightly so. Coaches can get into trouble if we imply there is anything wrong with the part. One whiff of that and the part feels misunderstood and loses trust.… Read more

Originally published in Coaching for Transformation

Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” The same is true about accepting parts. Instead of admonishing or fighting against an internal oppressor, if we simply witness and accept the oppressors’ beliefs and emotions, we move closer to a mindful state that helps parts relax.

If we’re part of a marginalized group and we experience prejudice, we often internalize oppression over time. Consciously or unconsciously, a part of us believes in the stereotypes and holds an oppressive view toward our identity group, whether we’re a person of color, a woman, LGBTQQ, working class or survivors of other social constructs.… Read more