Author Archives: marthaplasley

The human spirit and the human condition improve when people hear each other deeply.

Listening is foundational to the coaching process. The three levels of listening are self-focused listening, client-focused listening and transformation-focused listening.

Self-focused listening

Self-focused listening includes paying attention to our thoughts, body, emotions and intuition. When we bring awareness to what is happening within, in the moment, we recognize the choice to shift from reaction and judgment to the wisdom of the entire body-mind system. This heightened awareness makes intuition more accessible.

For instance, in the middle of a session, if we notice tension or we start thinking about a conflict from yesterday, we can bring our attention into the tension and the body lets go.… Read more

Brought up as a woman in India, the concept of my own needs seemed alien. I had learned to be a pleaser; the role and identity of being a caregiver came with ease. At one point I felt completely drained. Parts of myself suddenly needed care and called out for my attention.

The pathway of Exploring Needs and Values came to life as I reached inward for empathy and uncovered my hidden needs. Slowing down, spending time listening to the core needs of conflicting parts, my energy shifted. I felt more spacious within. Diff erent parts weren’t at war, and the possibility of them co­existing emerged.… Read more

The beauty of Embracing the Shadow is that we create opportunities for inclusion. As a result, people develop a loving relationship with themselves and others. This radical approach to coaching includes deep listening and gratitude for the role each part plays.

The human psyche has many parts, which are natural and healthy. All parts of the psyche have a positive intent, even parts that are stuck in contentious roles. As coaches, we listen for the noble purpose of all parts, regardless of their role. We listen to parts the same way we listen to people, picking up on their longing for transformation.… Read more

Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings to what one knew, or dreamed that one possessed. Yet, it is only when a man is able, without bitterness or self-pity, to surrender a dream he has long cherished or a privilege he has long possessed that he is set free — he has set himself free — for higher dreams, for greater privileges.… Read more

Whether you’re the big boss at work or the head of the family at home, it’s important for you to have authority and confidence. Leading isn’t just about getting to success, it’s about finding the best ways to get there and knowing how to utilize your team. As the owner and CEO of a drug rehabilitation center, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to truly inspire people and work together toward progress. Here are a few tips on becoming an effective leader at work, at home, or in life:

Communicate

I know, it’s not really a life-altering idea. But honestly, poor communication has been at the root of almost every argument I’ve ever heard.… Read more

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. — Henry David Thoreau

Actions may take a while to form, like islands coming forth in the fog. But if we hold possibilities for our clients, the action steps inevitably show up. Readiness for action steps naturally flows from alignment with values, vision and purpose.

As coaches, we help clients hold the big picture so they can align new plans with the overall strategy. When people are clear about what wants to be born and have faced the limitations of their inner or outer critics, they grow excited about bringing forth the vision.… Read more

I’ve taken many risks in my life—personal and professional. I’ve left jobs that no longer felt “right” even when I didn’t know what was next. I’ve moved halfway around the world to explore a dream, leaving everything and everyone I knew behind, because it was the right thing to do. It was never “easy” to take these risks but it felt necessary from a very deep part of myself. In the early years, my risk-taking was driven somewhat by desperation to find something that was missing or to fix myself. Now, experience has shown me that I can take risks in a grounded and intentional way, driven by my values and purpose.

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In his biography, Albert Einstein describes how some of his greatest discoveries first came from his body in the form of a tingling and other enlivening physical sensations that then informed the images and insights that led him to his greatest discoveries. This has profound and practical implications for coaching—small nuances in a client’s speech or body language contain keys to transformation. Recognizing and responding to them intuitively can uncover life-changing insights. Silence and attention to physical sensations and emotions is the doorway to discovery. At the start of a recent session, I heard two distinct voices in my client. One was a pioneer of consciousness and creativity.

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People say that what we are all seeking is a meaning for life…I think that what we are really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on a purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we can actually feel the rapture of being alive. —Joseph Campbell

As coaches, we take clients deeper than “figuring out” what they want to do. We take them into the experience of their core aliveness. Grounded in what resonates at the soul level, their life choices become more purposeful, rich and satisfying.

We off er five pathways to alignment, which remind people to connect with their core essence.… Read more

Once you realize that a part is calling for attention or blocking your progress, you need to find the right one so that you can talk to it. It is crowded in your psyche; just calling for any part is like shouting “Hey, you!” at a party. You’ll probably get a response, but not necessarily from the one you want. So, how do you identify and call the part you’re looking for?

NAME

The simplest way to invite a part into a dialogue is to ask for it by name:

“I want to talk to my Protector (or Critic, Perfectionist, Pleaser, Skeptic, etc.)”… Read more