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Clarifying values is one of the primary ways of awakening inherent resourcefulness and wisdom that activates deep levels of creativity. We are fully capable of much more than we can imagine at any moment. When we pay attention to the still small voice within, to the experiences that have shaped us, and to what we love, our values become clearer.

Asking clarifying questions

Look at snapshots of when your life was really sweet—times when you were fully honoring what was most important to you. What made it sweet?

Recall the challenging times in your life. What were the lessons learned?

Tell me a song that you love, or a movie.… Read more

As an exercise, we ask clients to prioritize their top seven values and how much they are honoring them on a scale of 1 to 10. Then we ask some of the following questions:

What is a time when you honored the value fully?

What is the barrier or obstacle that keeps you from honoring the value now?On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong is the barrier?

What are you learning from identifying the barrier, and how might those lessons help you fulfill the values you want to honor?

What needs to happen for each value to become a “10”?… Read more

Process work is very closely aligned with Experiencing the Moment. This branch of psychology originated in the 1970’s with the work of Arthur Mindell, a Jungian analyst. “Mindell discovered that the dreaming process went far beyond our nighttime dreams and could be seen in physical symptoms, relationship difficulties, addictions, extreme states of consciousness and social tensions. All of these dreamlike processes—when approached with curiosity and respect, can lead to new insight and an energetic shift that is vital for our personal development and the evolution of our collective bodies.”¹

Process work involves holding immense curiosity about everything the client is saying.… Read more

The body is an opening, a way to union even though we may perceive it to be an enclosure, a little fortress with some awareness inside. The body is a passageway, an entry into a cathedral. It is the door to spaciousness. When we become aware of the body in this way, we begin to experience life differently and might even feel the presence of invisible forces, wisdom bearers that can give strength, compassion and understanding to us in our everyday affairs. — Stephen Schwartz

We can use our body as a fortress or as a cathedral—protecting ourselves from the possibility of pain or danger, or opening ourselves to the beauty and wisdom in every cell.… Read more

Sharmila was a senior marketing manager in a multinational company. Smart, with excellent analytical skills, she was on a fast track for a promotion but something was holding her back. When she received feedback that she needed to be more assertive and speak up during meetings, Sharmila wanted to be coached on her communication skills.

Over the course of coaching, Sharmila connected to her values of respect and need for acceptance. Growing up as a girl in a large family in India, she was taught not to express herself or voice her opinions in front of elders, especially males. She had an older brother who she looked up to, who was given more attention and respect by the family.… Read more

One of the things that scared me the most when starting my coaching journey was bringing up too much emotion in my youth clients (it wasn’t the same with my adult clients). I found this to be a very interesting twist because prior to coaching, a large part of my work had been with foster youth who frequently had huge emotional outbursts that I was responsible for supporting. My initial response was to act as a protector and keep it nice and light by staying in the play space. I felt that I was more in control as a coach and could ensure that the youth would be safe and avoid emotional rollercoasters.… Read more

Similar to the way we interact with our community or family, friends and the world, we also interact with an internal community. The internal community is that group of internal parts of the psyche that direct our lives. Each part has an important purpose, without exception. Our role as coaches is to help clients learn to embrace their parts, exactly as they are. Even when a part behaves harshly, we look beneath the words or vicious behavior to understand its positive intent. If we appreciate each part’s attempt to contribute, honor the important role the part is playing and thank it for its years of service, the part feels seen, heard and understood.… Read more

In this case, she wants to be herself and let go of the expectations that she has to be an expert in all matters. Addressing this, she sees that her expectations of herself are in her way and when she becomes more comfortable with being in her own skin, then the meeting no longer looks ominous. This new light changes how she feels about the meeting and what she needs to do to prepare. By changing her viewpoint, she is more in touch with herself and can respond more fluidly with whatever happens in the meeting.

Coach: So Anya, what would you like to be coached on today?… Read more

When clients experience intense emotions, resistance or have trouble finding their voice, Experiencing the Moment can help them slow down and get to know themselves. When they are going full speed ahead, ignoring their body, or living in a state of confusion, Experiencing the Moment brings them into full awareness.

Experiencing the Moment is valuable when a client is having trouble fully experiencing or accepting some part of their life. This can show up as a lack of emotion or words not matching their tone or energy.

We use Experiencing the Moment skills in every other alignment pathway and, for many coaches, it’s their first choice as a pathway because authenticity becomes paramount.… Read more

Honoring all parts becomes a way of life. Whenever we see or hear parts that are out of alignment, we can bring them in by asking them to speak. We’ll notice misalignment because we’ll hear polarized voices vying for attention. It’s only natural for parts that value the status quo to block the parts that want to make changes. When our clients experience internal conflict, this pathway is a form of internal mediation.

They may experience internal conflict at many levels: mental, emotional, physical and behavioral.

I think I want to work with children / What if I can’t make a living?… Read more