Many habitual responses or reflections do not contribute to awareness and learning. By avoiding disempowering responses, we help people gain their own insight and power. The following examples can disempower the people we coach:

Agreeing with judgments: Yes, that guy is obnoxious.

Asking for more information: So she insulted you. Who else was there and what did they say?

Consoling: It wasn’t your fault; anyone else would have done the same thing.

Denying feelings: You shouldn’t feel angry that your boss is exerting power over you. He’s only trying to help.

Disagreeing: How can you say that? She’s so smart!

Educating: I hope you will learn that you have got to be more assertive if you want people to listen to you.… Read more

Last night, as I was sleeping I dreamt-marvelous error! That I had a beehive Here in my heart. And the golden bees Were making white combs And sweet honey From my old failures. —Antonio Machado

The shadow is the unconscious, or hidden parts of the personality. Jung believed, “in spite of its function as a reservoir for human darkness— or perhaps because of this—the shadow is the seat of creativity.”¹ The shadow personifies everything we refuse to acknowledge about ourselves, yet project on others. Robert Bly talks about the shadow as “the long bag we drag behind us.” He refers to all the parts of ourselves that we have hidden away all our lives because they are unacceptable.… Read more

Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. —Carl Jung

An important step in building a coaching practice is establishing a compelling vision. Just as you help clients create visions for their future, do the same for your coaching practice. You may have a good idea of how you envision your practice, who you want to work with and the impact you want to have, but getting it out of your head and onto paper will help you clearly communicate your vision and plan for success. When thinking of your business, consider the following questions:

What dreams do I have for my practice?… Read more

Every workplace has its chronic complainers. You know who they are. They tell you in painstaking detail what’s wrong with every department, every individual, and every decision. They plan their day, their coffee breaks and lunches by drifting from one ear to another honing their ability to pick apart what’s wrong – with the company, with their coworkers, with politics, and with life.

Critics can carry a charged air of toxicity that fosters a sense of hopelessness and despair, but let’s take a look at the value they bring. Noticing what’s missing is a special talent that can lead to new awareness and fresh change.… Read more

Almost everyone has been wounded, physically or emotionally. Our original wounding—the first time we found out that we are not okay—often becomes a driving force in our lives. The first time an innocent child hears, “No!” can be traumatic. Bewildered, the child starts to believe it is flawed or not good enough. Core beliefs become embedded in the psyche, such as, “I don’t matter. I am bad. If I don’t do what people ask, I won’t be loved.” Even people who have had extraordinary parenting and idyllic childhoods usually have a wounded child within.

When a wounded child begins to re-emerge, this is a vulnerable moment.… Read more

The idea of change can cause us to be mired in confusion and doubt, especially when the stakes are high. Even when you’re clear about what you want, how do you avoid the potential negative consequences? I’m familiar with that space. I spent a decade in the corporate world and was successful by society’s standards. Still, fulfillment eluded me. Whenever I thought of leaving, there was a sense of freedom. That aliveness, however, was quickly overpowered by the feeling of being trapped. As I saw it, my choices were being unemployed for the rest of my life by following my passion or getting paid well to do work that wasn’t meaningful.

… Read more

What was the passion that engaged you to become a coach? Is that passion still as alive as it once was? In this new column, which will appear regularly in the Coaching World under the title “Transformations,” I will be giving examples of coaches who are clear about their calling, and who are using it for transformation. As you read their stories, I invite you to think about how you yourself might make greater contributions.

The coaching profession has powerful tools to create change, and I would like to challenge us to use these tools more in our communities and cultures.… Read more

Coaching is often the entryway to organization development (OD) work. Stages of OD work include:

Entry and Contracting

Sensing and Discovery

Diagnosis and Feedback

Planning Interventions and Action

Evaluation and Closure

As organization development consultants enter organizations to collect data, diagnose the organization’s needs, design interventions and evaluate progress, we can also build internal organizational capacity to do the same. Each phase of the OD process serves a distinct purpose. So let’s see how this works.

Entry and contracting

Authenticity, presence and empathy are the vital components of the entry process. During the initial conversations, we build trust by listening non-judgmentally and offering support.… Read more

One of my more fulfilling and humbling experiences has been coaching six Latina immigrant women who are part of a new program that supports low-income entrepreneurs to launch their own cooperative businesses.

What makes this program unique is the strength-based approach of recognizing and continuously lifting up the life experience that these women bring to cooperative development. We remind them that they are in charge (not us) of the success of their business; that if anyone can do it, they can. Their resilience is astounding: they have crossed borders against all odds; most of them are the primary breadwinners for their families, hold 2-3 jobs, care for their children so they can one day go to college and more.… Read more

When you propose a challenge, a real one, the reaction you get is one of wide eyed curiosity, with a slight undertone of panic when the full ramifications of that challenge sink in. “Do you think that’s possible? Really?” Ideally, the answer is “no” because that’s how we know it’s a challenge and not a request. Not in the sense that the challenge defies all logic and realism, but in the sense that it defies your client’s perceived limitations. I’ve been reviewing written coaching assessments, which are part of the process for students completing their Coaching for Transformation certification training. One great piece of the assessment is to offer a challenge to two of the faculty.

… Read more