The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance—and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. —Oprah Winfrey

Discovery sessions

Once you get that new client, some groundwork needs to take place before coaching can get fully underway. Many coaches make their first session a discovery session, which differs from a typical coaching session. A sample discovery session outline is included in Appendix I. While you can customize your discovery session, some common elements to include are:

1. Making an empathic connection
2. Creating a conscious relationship
3. Clarifying values
4. Establishing focus of coaching and desired outcomes
5. Agreeing on Logistics

Making an empathic connection: Learn all you can about your new clients, connect with their deepest desires, ask empowering questions and give them the space to tell you all they want you to know about themselves.… Read more

Three fast-growing trends in coaching that make investment dollars go further include peer coaching, group coaching and community coaching.

Peer coaching is a long-term investment that pays strong dividends. When organizations set up a peer coaching culture they create high-trust relationships, and support each other’s leadership development across traditional boundaries. People can coach 360º—it’s not uncommon for people from different levels to coach upward, downward or laterally. The author of The Heart of Coaching, Thomas Crane describes The 7 Characteristics of a Coaching Culture: ¹

1. Leaders are Positive Role Models
2. Every Member is Focused on Customer Feedback
3. Coaching Flows in all Directions—Up, Down and Laterally
4. Teams Become Passionate and Energized
5. Learning Occurs, More Effective Decisions are Made, and Change Moves Faster
6. HR Systems are Aligned and Fully Integrated
7. The Organization Has a Common Coaching Practice and Language

When the entire organization collaborates to create a coaching culture and people have a shared understanding of how to coach, they support each other’s growth and development.… Read more

Specific coaching skills and methods help coaches build effective cross cultural coaching partnerships and support them in helping clients broaden their perspectives in cross cultural interactions. Let’s explore some of these skills in the cross cultural context.

Awareness

Whenever we are coaching—particularly cross culturally—how can we be alert to our own ignorance? How do we let go of what we think we know about our client’s experience and approach everything as a mystery? Part of developing awareness is learning about and embracing our own culture and experience. Another part is learning about cultural bias and privilege so we don’t assume others have that same experience.… Read more

­As coaches, one of the most impactful ways to serve our clients is to awaken and enhance their power to dream about their greatest potential. In fact we support many a client to DARE to dream! These are dreams of what’s possible and who they could become, and these are dreams seen when awake, with a conscious intention and directive. I am equally fascinated and curious about the dreams that visit my clients when they are asleep and in a different zone of consciousness. The dreams that tell of what’s going on and who they are. The dreams that point to what’s missing, what’s hidden, what’s vulnerable and what’s waiting to emerge.

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A great meeting ended on a sour note. When the meeting leader asked a quiet participant if he had anything to say, he took a sniper’s stance and answered, “I think we’ve wasted enough time already”. He laughed, but he didn’t seem to notice that the energy was sucked out of the room like the air going out of a balloon.

As he was going out the door, he took another cheap shot about the donuts being the best part of the meeting. I wanted to take him aside and ask him to think about how he could make his comments more constructive, but I began listing all the reasons why I shouldn’t:

• This is a small thing.

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Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” The same is true about accepting parts. Instead of admonishing or fighting against an internal oppressor, if we simply witness and accept the oppressors’ beliefs and emotions, we move closer to a mindful state that helps parts relax.

If we’re part of a marginalized group and we experience prejudice, we often internalize oppression over time. Consciously or unconsciously, a part of us believes in the stereotypes and holds an oppressive view toward our identity group, whether we’re a person of color, a woman, LGBTQQ, working class or survivors of other social constructs.… Read more

All the things that truly matter—beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace—arise from beyond the mind. —Eckhart Tolle

Experiencing the Moment differs from every other coaching pathway, because we do not take the client anywhere, except into their present moment experience. We help the client embrace, embody and include every part of what is happening in the moment. We focus on the present with no desire to fix or move the client toward any outcome or attitude.

The process allows people to claim, experience and integrate parts of themselves that they may have pushed away, denied or avoided. When we do this, we experience a transformation.… Read more

One of the ways clients can continue to work with parts is to ask them to practice Active Imagination as homework. Active Imagination is a Jungian technique developed to help people interpret their dreams. Like writing a play, we write a script, speaking with a part that appeared in our dream or in our psyche. In writing, we ask the part why it has appeared now. Then, imagining we are the part, we include the part’s response in the script, and continue the dialog by asking curious questions such as: What is your role? What do you do? What do you want?… Read more

What exactly is charisma? Charisma is that magnetic and magical quality that attracts you to another. Charisma is that characteristic that has us follow a particular politician without honestly knowing what they stand for or what their track record has been. Charisma is that irresistible attraction for a particular actor or model, when looks alone wouldn’t turn your head otherwise.

Charisma is what has followers from around the world follow certain religious leaders. Charisma is what business leaders who build empires rely on – their ability to inspire others. You can find charismatic qualities in thousands of people. At Leadership that Works, we think personal charisma is a positive, powerful force that anyone can develop.… Read more

A big part of the work a coach does is attuning to what the client brings—our presenting and underlying issues, our overall “energy,” our conditioning, our mind habits, our relationship, and our speech patterns. While engaging in this kind of ongoing “attunement” as a constant presence with our clients and an awareness about what is alive in them right now, there are traps we can easily fall into without noticing it. This is especially true for our cultural conditioning through language. We all have language. It is a filter, a modus operandi that is so close to us, and so “natural” that most of the time we are not even aware of language as a filter through which we see the world.

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