Often, clients come to us without an understanding of working in the area of soul. In modern cultures, there is a bias against nature and our own wildness, which leads many clients to an over­emphasis on the realm of spirit. “Take me toward the light” is a cry often heard. As coaches, we want to help clients move both toward the core of their individuality as well as to the realm of their oneness with all.

How exactly do we move clients closer to the core of their individuality? It begins with an acceptance and ease with where they are, balanced with fiercely calling them to what we see is possible.… Read more

EMBODYING AND EMBEDDING A COACHING CONSCIOUSNESS FOR THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD

Zoom into an after-school learning center AURA in a small town, Vadodara, in Gujarat, India, where a group of 15 children are learning about heroism. Rahul, age 8, has just disrupted the class for the third time—this time by spilling water on the floor. The teacher, Priti, is experiencing distress and is tempted to give the child a grim warning. She pauses and takes a breath—she gets in touch with her inner distress and silently acknowledges her need for order and cooperation. She touches her yearning to contribute to how her children learn and connect with each other in her classroom.… Read more

It’s magical. That’s how Ivy Woolf Turk and Cheryl Paley both describe the work they are doing with The Blackbird Project at WPA, the program they co-founded and administer at The Women’s Prison Association in New York City. The Blackbird Project combines coaching and arts-based intervention to promote well-being for women who are either currently involved in the criminal justice system or homeless. But the magic really started when the two met by chance at a writing workshop that Cheryl was teaching. Both of them were facing significant struggles—after serving almost four years of incarceration, Ivy was struggling to make it back into the workforce and Cheryl was facing sudden unemployment, family and health challenges.

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Some days I can feel it. A nasty, physical, emotional and even spiritual feeling of isolation. A thundering silence that surrounds me. A lack of energy that entails passivism – therefore more silence, and an overwhelming feeling of pure isolation. It’s as if I’m alone in this strenuous journey towards a more sustainable society; whatever that might be… Then a day goes by. The phone is ringing again, emails are flowing, friends & colleagues are reaching out and the energy is back. The journey seems effortless once again, “sustainable and thriving society” has a clear meaning to me and I feel blessed for being engaged with so many other human beings.

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An old man walked to a neighboring town and came upon a group of workers carrying heavy stones. He sat down to watch, first seeing a man struggling under the weight of a heavy stone, grunting and having a very hard time with the job. The old man asked him, “What are you doing?” The man replied, “Carrying stones,” and went on with his work.

Then the old man noticed a second worker, carrying a stone much like the stone the first worker carried, but he made the work look easy. This second man was smiling enthusiastically about his work. He asked the second man, “What are you doing?”… Read more

Coaching as a profession attracts deeply compassionate, nurturing people who don’t always know when to bring out the hard edge. Fierce coaching can be a challenge for those naturally drawn to empathy and encouragement. Coaching requires courage, and fierce coaching is a test of that courage.

Instead of avoiding behaviors that feel uncomfortable, we take risks for the sake of our clients. If we step into fierceness and push ourselves, we bring aliveness and deeper trust into the coaching relationship.

Fierce coaching builds on the work of Frank Farrelly, a therapist dissatisfied with his effectiveness, who developed provocative coaching by exploring new procedures for promoting change in chronic and recalcitrant clients.… Read more

When a client voices a disempowering viewpoint, the first step is to separate the viewpoint from the topic. Expanding the View works best when we are crystal clear about the topic the client is exploring. This is a crucial part of the process, so we do not skip this step. Our clients are about to shatter long-held beliefs, so meaningful, clearly-defined topics help them focus.

Starting with the simple examples below, let’s separate the topic from the viewpoint, just like diagramming a sentence. The goal is to separate the topic from the opinion about the topic.

Looking at the topics in the chart, we notice that clients could have any number of possible viewpoints about that topic besides the one they are currently holding.… Read more

Many habitual responses or reflections do not contribute to awareness and learning. By avoiding disempowering responses, we help people gain their own insight and power. The following examples can disempower the people we coach:

Agreeing with judgments: Yes, that guy is obnoxious.

Asking for more information: So she insulted you. Who else was there and what did they say?

Consoling: It wasn’t your fault; anyone else would have done the same thing.

Denying feelings: You shouldn’t feel angry that your boss is exerting power over you. He’s only trying to help.

Disagreeing: How can you say that? She’s so smart!

Educating: I hope you will learn that you have got to be more assertive if you want people to listen to you.… Read more

Last night, as I was sleeping I dreamt-marvelous error! That I had a beehive Here in my heart. And the golden bees Were making white combs And sweet honey From my old failures. —Antonio Machado

The shadow is the unconscious, or hidden parts of the personality. Jung believed, “in spite of its function as a reservoir for human darkness— or perhaps because of this—the shadow is the seat of creativity.”¹ The shadow personifies everything we refuse to acknowledge about ourselves, yet project on others. Robert Bly talks about the shadow as “the long bag we drag behind us.” He refers to all the parts of ourselves that we have hidden away all our lives because they are unacceptable.… Read more

Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. —Carl Jung

An important step in building a coaching practice is establishing a compelling vision. Just as you help clients create visions for their future, do the same for your coaching practice. You may have a good idea of how you envision your practice, who you want to work with and the impact you want to have, but getting it out of your head and onto paper will help you clearly communicate your vision and plan for success. When thinking of your business, consider the following questions:

What dreams do I have for my practice?… Read more