Dealing with Toxic People in the Workplace—Turning Complaints into Requests

Every workplace has its chronic complainers. You know who they are. They tell you in painstaking detail what’s wrong with every department, every individual, and every decision. They plan their day, their coffee breaks and lunches by drifting from one ear to another honing their ability to pick apart what’s wrong – with the company, with their coworkers, with politics, and with life.

Critics can carry a charged air of toxicity that fosters a sense of hopelessness and despair, but let’s take a look at the value they bring. Noticing what’s missing is a special talent that can lead to new awareness and fresh change.… Read more

Embracing the Shadow: Working with a Wounded Child

Almost everyone has been wounded, physically or emotionally. Our original wounding—the first time we found out that we are not okay—often becomes a driving force in our lives. The first time an innocent child hears, “No!” can be traumatic. Bewildered, the child starts to believe it is flawed or not good enough. Core beliefs become embedded in the psyche, such as, “I don’t matter. I am bad. If I don’t do what people ask, I won’t be loved.” Even people who have had extraordinary parenting and idyllic childhoods usually have a wounded child within.

When a wounded child begins to re-emerge, this is a vulnerable moment.… Read more

Embrace Change: 5 Lessons to Help You Make The Leap

 The idea of change can cause us to be mired in confusion and doubt, especially when the stakes are high. Even when you’re clear about what you want, how do you avoid the potential negative consequences?
I’m familiar with that space. I spent a decade in the corporate world and was successful by society’s standards. Still, fulfillment eluded me.
Whenever I thought of leaving, there was a sense of freedom. That aliveness, however, was quickly overpowered by the feeling of being trapped. As I saw it, my choices were being unemployed for the rest of my life by following my passion or getting paid well to do work that wasn’t meaningful.
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Cultural Change: How Can you Make it Happen

What was the passion that engaged you to become a coach? Is that passion still as alive as it once was? In this new column, which will appear regularly in the Coaching World under the title “Transformations,” I will be giving examples of coaches who are clear about their calling, and who are using it for transformation. As you read their stories, I invite you to think about how you yourself might make greater contributions.

The coaching profession has powerful tools to create change, and I would like to challenge us to use these tools more in our communities and cultures.… Read more

5 Phases of Organization Development

Coaching is often the entryway to organization development (OD) work. Stages of OD work include:

Entry and Contracting

Sensing and Discovery

Diagnosis and Feedback

Planning Interventions and Action

Evaluation and Closure

As organization development consultants enter organizations to collect data, diagnose the organization’s needs, design interventions and evaluate progress, we can also build internal organizational capacity to do the same. Each phase of the OD process serves a distinct purpose. So let’s see how this works.

Entry and contracting

Authenticity, presence and empathy are the vital components of the entry process. During the initial conversations, we build trust by listening non-judgmentally and offering support.… Read more

Creating and Sustaining Conscious Relationships Across Race, Class and Immigration Status

One of my more fulfilling and humbling experiences has been coaching six Latina immigrant women who are part of a new program that supports low-income entrepreneurs to launch their own cooperative businesses.

What makes this program unique is the strength-based approach of recognizing and continuously lifting up the life experience that these women bring to cooperative development. We remind them that they are in charge (not us) of the success of their business; that if anyone can do it, they can. Their resilience is astounding: they have crossed borders against all odds; most of them are the primary breadwinners for their families, hold 2-3 jobs, care for their children so they can one day go to college and more.… Read more

Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

 When you propose a challenge, a real one, the reaction you get is one of wide eyed curiosity, with a slight undertone of panic when the full ramifications of that challenge sink in. “Do you think that’s possible? Really?” Ideally, the answer is “no” because that’s how we know it’s a challenge and not a request. Not in the sense that the challenge defies all logic and realism, but in the sense that it defies your client’s perceived limitations.
I’ve been reviewing written coaching assessments, which are part of the process for students completing their Coaching for Transformation certification training. One great piece of the assessment is to offer a challenge to two of the faculty.
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Creating the Coaching Partnership

The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance—and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. —Oprah Winfrey

Discovery sessions

Once you get that new client, some groundwork needs to take place before coaching can get fully underway. Many coaches make their first session a discovery session, which differs from a typical coaching session. A sample discovery session outline is included in Appendix I. While you can customize your discovery session, some common elements to include are:

  1. Making an empathic connection
  2. Creating a conscious relationship
  3. Clarifying values
  4. Establishing focus of coaching and desired outcomes
  5. Agreeing on Logistics

Making an empathic connection: Learn all you can about your new clients, connect with their deepest desires, ask empowering questions and give them the space to tell you all they want you to know about themselves.… Read more

Creative Approaches to Coaching in the Social Sector

Three fast-growing trends in coaching that make investment dollars go further include peer coaching, group coaching and community coaching.

Peer coaching is a long-term investment that pays strong dividends. When organizations set up a peer coaching culture they create high-trust relationships, and support each other’s leadership development across traditional boundaries. People can coach 360º—it’s not uncommon for people from different levels to coach upward, downward or laterally. The author of The Heart of Coaching, Thomas Crane describes The 7 Characteristics of a Coaching Culture: 1

  1. Leaders are Positive Role Models
  2. Every Member is Focused on Customer Feedback
  3. Coaching Flows in all Directions—Up, Down and Laterally
  4. Teams Become Passionate and Energized
  5. Learning Occurs, More Effective Decisions are Made, and Change Moves Faster
  6. HR Systems are Aligned and Fully Integrated
  7. The Organization Has a Common Coaching Practice and Language

When the entire organization collaborates to create a coaching culture and people have a shared understanding of how to coach, they support each other’s growth and development.… Read more

Cross Cultural Coaching Skills

Specific coaching skills and methods help coaches build effective cross cultural coaching partnerships and support them in helping clients broaden their perspectives in cross cultural interactions. Let’s explore some of these skills in the cross cultural context.

Awareness

Whenever we are coaching—particularly cross culturally—how can we be alert to our own ignorance? How do we let go of what we think we know about our client’s experience and approach everything as a mystery? Part of developing awareness is learning about and embracing our own culture and experience. Another part is learning about cultural bias and privilege so we don’t assume others have that same experience.… Read more