Category Archives: Uncategorized

The New Year is the traditional time to make commitments. The trouble is we tend to abandon them a week later. Yes, commitments can be scary. We equate the word “committed” with being put behind bars in a mental institution or being boxed in by an organization or a relationship that no longer serves us. We’re afraid of being bound by commitments that no longer fulfill us.

One reason we don’t honor our commitments is because our goals aren’t energizing. Many of us say, “I really should lose weight,” or “I have to reduce my debt.” We get caught up in “shoulds” and “have tos” instead of choosing goals that truly matter – ones we are passionate about.… Read more

We create sacred coaching relationships that take people to the core of their being. These relationships form the foundation for their discovery of who they are, what they want and how they want to contribute to the world.

Coaching for Transformation is a dynamic process, where we bring our full curiosity, compassion and courage to the coaching relationship. Yet our primary focus is on the person being coached. Whatever clients bring, whether a question, a dream or a desire, we support them to move into awareness, alignment and action.

The Coaching for Transformation Model

Coach

 The coach cultivates uncompromising presence by bringing these three qualities to every coaching session:

Curiosity—the opposite of judgment, curiosity invites us to accept all that is and explore the unknown.… Read more

You can think of the kind of transformation described here as drawing new water out of your old well—by going deeper than you ever dipped before. The way to get your bucket deeper into your well is by taking on powerful questions, instead of jumping at attractive-looking answers. —John Scherer

Humans have the potential and deep desire to learn, grow and evolve. Transformation is a process of profound and radical change that arises from deep awareness and leads to fresh orientation and new direction. Transformation honors what is, while reaching deep within us to find what is emerging—the birthing of something brand new.… Read more

I am super shy, so I was nervous about Damon coaching me with 30 people watching, but my relationship with Damon spans some years. We’re both social justice organizers and we really connect as fathers of sons who had some health challenges. My middle son passed away from brain cancer. We’ve had some profound conversations about our sons. As black men, we know our children are in danger. They are here today and can be gone tomorrow.

Already connected, we started the coaching session by jumping into a deep intimate issue around being a father, being a black man and what that means.… Read more

Connection comes first. Nothing happens without connection. Fierce love and unconditional support build trust and a flourishing relationship. The coach and client share power equally. This relationship is a space for experimentation, alchemy and human evolution. In every moment, transformation is possible for both the client and the coach. In the space of deep connection, intuition blossoms for both the client and the coach.

The Three Levels of Coaching

At Leadership that Works, we support three levels of coaching:

Level One coaching supports transformation at the personal level.

• Creating a healthy relationship with self 
• Honoring internal wisdom and trusting intuition
• Moving from awareness to alignment to action

Level Two coaching supports transformation at both the personal and the interpersonal level.… Read more

Allow your work and your recreation to be one and the same… Serve others and cultivate yourself simultaneously… Understand that true growth comes from meeting and Solving the problems of life in a way that is Harmonizing to yourself and to others. —Lao Tzu

What are the ways we care for our mind, body and soul? How much meaning, inspiration and purpose do we want in our lives? How regularly do we exercise and take time for spiritual practices? How does diet support our optimal functioning?

Using a journal to reflect on our own self-care, we can ask:

How is our energy level?… Read more

Approval and disapproval: Instead of sharing your evaluation, reflect what matters.

Comparing yourself: Instead of thinking about who is smarter or how your experience is different, or what you would have done, stay focused on the uniqueness of your client’s experience.

Evaluating or analyzing: Instead of interpreting or psychoanalyzing, reflect the content or the emotions and needs.

Ignoring nonverbal cues: Listen to the essence of the content, but also name the body language, tone of voice, rate of speech and energetic cues.

Jargon: If you notice you’re using words and phrases that your client wouldn’t use in a casual conversation, that’s a sign you’re using jargon.… Read more

One of the ways to access our commitment and energy is to develop what we call the coach’s stand. By that, we mean a solid foundation from which we coach and a courageous, empowered attitude that inspires clients. The coach’s stand is a set of physical, mental and spiritual qualities that we embody when we coach. As we stand in our power, we call your clients to step into their own power.

We divide the coach’s stand into three parts:

Physical stand or movement

Metaphor for the coaching relationship

Commitment to what we care about

Physical

Our energy and impact in the world are affected by our physical being.… Read more

“In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?” – Carl Rogers

Extensive studies in psychotherapy have shown that the most important predictor of client outcome is the therapist-client relationship, as experienced by the client. Studies from the last couple of decades confirm that the Importance of the relationship applies to coaching as well.

Even though we put effort into learning the CFT skills and pathways, they merely serve as a scaffold for building and deepening the relationship.… Read more

With so many options, what do coaches look for and where do we focus?

Key Words—The first words spoken can be very revealing, so pay attention to the very first things said. When phrases are repeated, pick them up and get curious. Notice which words have energy behind them.

Yearning—In every moment, we listen for what the client wants. Even if they continuously talk about what they don’t want, or what’s not working, we can listen for what they do want.

What’s Not Said—Focus on what the client is protecting. Sometimes they’ll come right out and say, “I don’t want to talk about my loss,” an indication they are protecting something of value.Other… Read more